Online Dating Success
How to be good at online dating.
| March 09, 2021
Online dating has become more popular with today's technological advancements. It's easier than ever to meet new people and chat online. But for those of us who aren't familiar with online dating, it can be a little intimidating. It can take years of experience to figure out how to be good at online dating, but we're going to save you some time by giving you some helpful tips and answering your burning questions.
Is online dating safe?
The safety of online dating depends largely on how you go about it. Talking to someone online before meeting them in person can give you a better idea of who they are before being face to face with them. However there are always going to be risks involved with dating and meeting new people.
What can I do to keep myself safe?
There are a few things you can do to ensure your safety when trying online dating.
1. Never give or take money:
There are many nice people out there just like you looking to find their next relationship online, but the internet is not free of scammers. If someone you are speaking with asks you for money or asks you to accept money from them, you should not do this. Obviously you don't want to give money or your financial information to a stranger on the internet, but many scams also include sending you money first. Protect yourself and your financial information at all times.
2. Voice or video chat before meeting:
One of the best ways to make sure that the person you are meeting is who they say they are is to video chat with them first. This will also help break the ice before your first official date.
3. Avoid too much personal information:
We'll talk about setting up your dating profile later, but for now let's talk about your personal information. Most dating sites are going to ask for you location so they can match you with someone nearby. This is a helpful feature because it means you won't be talking to someone in Texas from Colorado. But too much information on your profile can be dangerous.
On your profile, avoid listing things like where you work or live. Keep an eye on your pictures and make sure that no one can identify where you live from things in the background, like road signs or significant landmarks. Before posting, ask yourself if there is information that could lead to someone finding you without your consent.
4. Give yourself an out:
When you do finally meet someone in person make sure you have a way out of the situation if you need it. Driving yourself to the date and letting a friend know where you're going can be the difference between safety and danger. If you feel uncomfortable during the date, don't waste your time any further. It's never a bad thing to just let them know this isn't for you and head home. Always make your safety a priority when meeting someone new.
Can online dating be successful?
Yes, it absolutely can. There are so many success stories of couples meeting online. Especially during the pandemic, most people didn't have much of a choice but to date online. Just remember that there are always going to be bad dating stories whether you meet online, in a bar or at your sister's birthday party. Not every date is a good date, and that is still a factor with online dating. So, if you have a bad date don't let that make you swear off online dating altogether. Just understand that like finding a date other ways, it's not always going to work out, but there is always a chance that you can find a great partner.
How do I get started with online dating?
There are plenty of things to consider before you even start online dating, but here are some things that can help you get started.
1. Make sure you are ready to put yourself out there:
This step may seem obvious, but it's really important. I'm sure you hate wasting time, especially when it comes to dating. Imagine starting to see someone, and a few dates later they tell you that they aren't ready to date. While understandable, it can be frustrating to waste your time. So, don't be that person. Make sure you have the time and energy to commit to a relationship before starting your online dating journey.
2. Find the right site for you:
There are a lot of online dating websites out there to choose from, and it can be overwhelming to choose one. You can find dating sites that focus on religion, sexual orientation, race, who initiates conversation and what exactly you're looking for in a relationship. So spend some time doing research and find the right one for you. Also pay attention to whether or not the dating site will charge you for using it as this has become more common.
3. Choose the right photo:
Choosing the right profile picture can be exhausting, but we have some tips to help you out. You should try to avoid blurry or overly edited pictures. You want your picture to stand out, but it should also represent who you are.
Also try to avoid having other people in your profile picture because people will then have to try to figure out which one is you. It's perfectly fine to have other pictures that include your friends or family, but your main profile photo should just be you alone. If people can't see what you look like in the picture, they may just skip right over your profile. On most dating sites, the profile picture is the first thing that people see. Then if it interests them, they can click on your profile to read it.
Don't be afraid to look your best in your profile photo. You want your picture to look like you do when you go out with friends. So make sure you're wearing something nice. A little bit of effort with your profile photo will go a long way.
How do I set up my online dating profile?
We already talked about your profile photo, but what about the rest? Setting up a dating profile is also a very important step. First, it's important to understand that this isn't a resume. You don't need to be polished, just be yourself. Make it fun. Make it you. Here are some other great tips to get you started:
1. Don't try to impress:
This shouldn't be a list of your accomplishments thus far in life. Sure, if you achieved something that you're proud of, add it. But there is no need to list every time you've been promoted since 2010 or your perfect attendance streak. You want someone who you meet online to like you for you, not for your accomplishments.
2. Give an idea of how you live:
You want your profile to include things that you do in your spare time. You want your goals and time to match up with someone who is interested in you. If you work 60 hours a week, be honest about that. Sure some people may turn away from that, but that's what you want. Being honest about the amount of time you spend working means that you can be sure right away that your partner knows and respects that.
3. What you're looking for:
Be clear on your dating profile what you are looking for. This may be in the form of a question the dating website asks you, or you may have to be upfront about it yourself. So many people waste their time talking to someone who is looking for something completely different. Whether you want a relationship, potential marriage, a casual hook up, friends with benefits or just a friend, please be honest about this on your profile to save yourself time.
4. Listing your preferences:
Whether the dating site asks you specifically or not, you should list what you are looking for in a partner. Too many people focus on physical attributes. Instead of focusing on height or fitness, list what type of personal characteristics that you're looking for. For example focus on wanting to meet someone who is kind, funny and spontaneous if that is what you are looking for.
5. Nix the negativity:
Make sure your profile is full of positivity. This includes positivity directed at yourself. This is the first experience that someone will have with you. So, talking negatively about yourself or your life will often chase people away. This doesn't mean you have to pretend to be a positive person, but it helps to only list things that you like about yourself. We all see ourselves negatively sometimes, but your profile should not come across as being negative toward you.
6. Let your best traits shine:
This is really your opportunity to shine. So if you're funny, don't be afraid to add some jokes to your profile. If you love quoting your favorite movie or show, then add some quotes to your profile. Making someone laugh is a great way to get their attention. If someone notices that you like similar things, then they are more likely to start a conversation.
7. Spell check:
Always check your grammar and spelling before posting. Many people are turned off by poor grammar. Also, misspelling can lead to misunderstandings. These things happen, but it can be easily avoided by proofreading your profile before you submit it.
I have my profile submitted, what now?
Once you have submitted your profile, it's time to start looking around the website for other profiles. Yes, it's okay for you to reach out to someone first. Here are some great ways to initiate contact with someone:
1. "Liking" them:
Many dating sites have their own variation of liking a person's profile. If you see someone who seems compatible with you, then go ahead and give them a like. The user will be notified that you liked then, and this will usually prompt them to check out your profile as well.
2. Answer a question:
Some dating sites have their users create questions for potential matches. If you like someone's profile, then go ahead and answer one of their questions. If the question is specific to something you both enjoy, then that's even better. Always try to be as kind and descriptive as possible when responding to a question.
3. Go ahead and send a message:
If you really like someone and want to do a little more than just give them a like, don't be afraid to send them a message. Say something clever or give them a compliment if you want.
4. Don't give up:
It can seem frustrating to try to find someone to date online and in person. Not everyone monitors their dating profile much or even reads all of their messages. So if you send a message and they don't respond, don't take it personally. Just know that it could be many different reasons and move on. It'll take time to find someone you are compatible with, so don't get frustrated if you don't click with someone right away.
Is online dating right for me?
Well, that depends on your preferences, but it has become a very popular method of getting to know someone. If you follow the advice above, then you'll meet plenty of new people. Just like in person dating, remember to keep yourself safe first and foremost. And remember, dating should be fun for both parties. So, if you're not having fun, then you might not be compatible with that person. And that's okay. Take the time to find the right person for you.