Hello, I am below average and severely undesireable. I have a huge nose and an even bigger belly. I am balding in traditional armenian fashion, but I have really hairy chest and back. I like to braid my chest hair while watching cartoons. I drink like a fish and eat like a pig. I smoke at least 2 packs a day and I have gambled all of my possessions away as well. I live in a windowless basement bachelor apartment with my parents and 8 of my relatives, 4 stray dogs, 3 retarded cats and a raccoon with rabies. I have a dead end job driving a delivery truck for a diaper company. My life is a living hell and I would like to share it with some other unsuspecting individual that preferably has a job and some savings. I personally believe that the only reason woman was placed on this earth was to serve man. I have a one piece eyebrow and I usually walk around in a loin cloth and carry a club!! Looking For: Should be a lady on the street and a freak in the bed! Must like to have sex at any given moment, anywhere, without any birth control whatsoever.You should believe in monagamy but not care if your partner plays the field on a regular basis. You should be someone that is seen and not heard. Skin tight, revealing and low cut clothing should be your primary wardrobe.Must be able to make soujouk, basterma, lahmajun and tabbouleh concurrently at any given time. Underwear is optional and actually not suggested. Should be able to get beer and other assorted alcoholic beverages on a moments notice. Someone who does not mind getting knocked around when I get home from work and have had a bad day and need to take my fustrations out. Capable of removing food stains from shirts, lipstick from collars and skid marks from underwear is an absolute plus. You must be able to respond to " inch bidi udenk" and the ever so popular "yerp bidi udenk". If you actually believe this you need help! If you think this is hilarious, drop me a line and read on. It only gets better.